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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859781">Hold On, I Still Need You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonwonderland8/pseuds/allisonwonderland8'>allisonwonderland8</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, Cussing, Fights, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Has Issues, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Post-Break Up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:21:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonwonderland8/pseuds/allisonwonderland8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's tired.</p><p> Lance and Keith say some things that they don't really mean.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith &amp; Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>130</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hold On, I Still Need You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Things go south pretty quickly. Don't worry, it gets better.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a hard week.</p><p>No, it had been a terrible week.</p><p>Allura had the paladins running drills for hours on end. She said that Zarkon was strategizing and that they needed to be ready.</p><p> She was actually right.</p><p> Zarkon planned 3 different attacks within the same time period. This left the paladins anxious and on edge. </p><p>Especially Lance.</p><p>Lance laid in bed, fidgeting with his hands. He'd asked to talk to Keith an hour ago and he still wasn't here. </p><p>Lance knows he should go looking for him, but he's afraid of what comes next. </p><p>The door suddenly creaks open.</p><p>Lance jumps up, arms crossed at his chest. </p><p>Keith walks in, shoulders slumped in exhaustion. A towel wrapped around his wet mop of hair. </p><p>He groans, drying off, before finally looking up at Lance. </p><p>His eyes narrow as he notices the scowl on Lance's face.</p><p> "Have a nice shower?" Lance asks in a clipped voice.</p><p> "Uh, yeah?" Keith responds, confusion clear in his voice.</p><p> Lance just nods, mouth tightening into a firm line. </p><p>Keith sighs, dragging the towel down off his head. </p><p>"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or am I going to have to play the guessing game?" </p><p>Lance's stare hardens. </p><p>He takes a deep breath, hands clenching at his sides. </p><p>"Were you just not going to tell me about the Blade? About you leaving?" </p><p>Keith's eyes widen.</p><p> He takes a quick step forward, reaching his hand out to touch Lance. </p><p>Lance walks back several steps, putting some distance between himself and Keith. </p><p>Keith frowns.</p><p> "Lance."</p><p> "What?" Lance snaps. "What could you possibly have to say for yourself now?" </p><p>Keith's eyebrows furrow. </p><p>"Would you just let me talk?"</p><p>Lance lets out a bitter chuckle.</p><p>"Go ahead." </p><p>Keith takes a deep breath, exhaling steadily. </p><p>"I haven't said yes yet." </p><p>Lance's face falls. </p><p>His voice comes out small and tight, "But you want to, don't you? You're going to say yes." </p><p>Keith growls, anger evident in his voice, "So, what if I do? You going to stop me?" </p><p>Lance goes red in the face.</p><p> "It's not like I could, even if I wanted to." </p><p>Keith smiles, bitterly.</p><p> "Good. Then I see no issue in me leaving." </p><p>Lance's voice raises in pitch, "Keith, I'm your boyfriend."</p><p> Keith shakes his head, saying, "You can still be my boyfriend, whether I'm here, or with the Blade." </p><p>Lance huffs, running his hands through his hair.</p><p> "That's not how relationships usually work. Keith... That's not how I work."</p><p> Keith scoffs.</p><p> "Lance, you've always known that I wasn't meant to lead Voltron." </p><p>Lance's eyes widen. </p><p>"The universe needs you! Our teammates need you! I need you!"</p><p>"You can't just walk out on us, on me, now." </p><p>Keith rolls his eyes, </p><p>"Lance, I get that you're needy, but I thought that you'd finally get it through that thick skull of yours that I'm not happy here. This whole time, it's been all about Lance! What Lance wants. Can't you just be happy for me?!? Can you just stop thinking about yourself for one fucking second?!?!"</p><p>Lance's mouth drops. Unshed tears sting his eyes. </p><p>After a moment, his eyes narrow. </p><p>He hisses out, "I know you have daddy issues and don't know how an actual relationship works, but this is a new low. Even for you." </p><p>Keith's hands ball into fists, eyes flashing with something dangerous. </p><p>"I don't know why we even started dating. I wish I turned you down after you begged me to go on a date with you. But then, I wouldn't have realized what a complete shithead you are. I don't know how I ever loved you." </p><p>Lance fumes. </p><p>"I guess if you really mean that, then you don't mind breaking up and walking out right now? Then, you can just leave and don't ever have to come back again! We'll be fine without you!"</p><p>Keith throws his hands up into the air.</p><p>"It'd be my pleasure! Then I won't have to stay here with you dragging me down and holding me back!" </p><p>Lance stares him down.</p><p>"Go ahead," he utters out, arms crossed defensively.</p><p>Keith whips around, hand slamming on the door, before storming out wordlessly.</p><p>Lance winces, arms curling around his sides, protectively.</p><p>His lip quivers as he tries to steady himself. He fights back the tears in his eyes. He shouldn't let Keith hurt him.</p><p>Lance can't help the tears that unwillingly spill down his cheeks.</p><p>"Damnit, Keith," Lance whispers out, knuckles pailing in their tight grip on his jeans.</p><p>Lance collapses in on himself, falling to his knees. His head buried in his lap. </p><p>A single sob echoes across the empty room.</p><p>An endless stream of tears begin dripping down his cheek, hooking onto his nose, before sliding down his pointed chin and onto the ground. </p><p>Keith storms onto the training deck. He yanks out his bayard and begins attacking the robots that approach him. His eyes harden, as he launches himself forward, slicing through each one. Soon after, his movements become unsteady. </p><p>Several bots later, he begins to lurch forward, blood pounding in his ears.</p><p> Only when he's staggering and gasping for air, does he realize that he's been at it for vargas.</p><p> "End training sequence!" He pants out.</p><p> He manages to stumble over to the workout bench. He hisses, every muscle in his body screaming for him to stop moving. Keith's head falls, pressing against the back wall. His hands hang limply at his sides. Through heavy lidded eyes, he looks down at his hands. They're blistering and even bleeding at some parts. His knuckles are bruised and cracked. </p><p>With a shaky breath, he leans back fully against the wall and promptly passes out.</p><p>Sometime later, he wakes up to someone shaking him by the shoulders. The person Keith least expects stands in front of him. </p><p>Pidge. </p><p>Her hands are on her hips. With a sigh, she adjusts her glasses and crosses her arms.</p><p>"You fell asleep on the training deck. It's already late afternoon/ evening."</p><p>Keith groans, rubbing his head, "Shit. I bet Allura's pissed."</p><p>Pidge smirks.</p><p>"Normally, she would be furious, but you're in luck. She gave everyone the day off, saying that everyone still needs to keep an eye out for galra cruisers, though."</p><p>Keith sighs in relief, head resting back against the wall.</p><p>Pidge's nose scrunches up.</p><p>"You reek."</p><p>Keith just hums in response.</p><p>After a moment of silence, Pidge clears her throat and says, "I don't know exactly what happened between you and Lance, but whatever did must've been big, because I haven't seen him all day and you passed out before a shower, which you hate doing." </p><p>Keith's eyes flick back to Pidge's, narrowing slightly as he says, "I don't want to talk about it." </p><p>Pidge holds her hands up in surrender, saying, "Fair enough. I just thought you should know that he took whatever you said, seriously."</p><p>Keith groans, hands sliding up his face. "I don't even remember half the shit I said. I bet he doesn't either." </p><p>Pidge clucks her tongue.</p><p>"Don't bet on that."</p><p>Keith's eyes widen.</p><p>He opens his mouth to say something, but his voice falls as he watches her quickly retreating figure. </p><p>He crosses his arms, practically gagging at himself. God, he does need a shower.</p><p>He slowly peels himself off the bench, wincing as his muscles scream in protest. Soon enough, he finds himself at the showers. He turns on the water, not bothered by the freezing temperature of it.</p><p>Eventually, he finishes. He stumbles out of the shower and lazily pulls on a fresh change of clothes. His stomach growls as he makes his way to the dining hall. He serves himself a plate of food goo, as it appears that Hunk hasn't cooked today. Keith realizes as he sits down, that the hall is empty. Not bothered, he eats in silence. </p><p>Just as soon as he finishes up, the door to the hallway opens. In walks Hunk, hands clasped together. When he spots Keith, he strolls over. He takes a seat next to him. </p><p>Keith watches out the corner of his eye as he twiddles with his thumb. Suddenly, a determined look crosses his face. </p><p>"Listen Keith, I'm sorry about what happened last night." </p><p>Keith sighs, palms pressed to his forehead.</p><p>"Lance told you?" He asks, weakly.</p><p>Hunk shakes his head.</p><p>"No. But it wasn't exactly difficult to make out what you guys were saying. We all heard some stuff, anyways."</p><p>Keith groans, before looking up.</p><p>"Then why are you here?" </p><p>A serious look comes across Hunk's face.</p><p>"Lance is missing. Has been since last night. We've looked everywhere in the castle for him."</p><p>A startled look crosses Keith's face.</p><p>"He's gone? Is Red missing?"</p><p>Hunk shakes his head.</p><p>"No, Red and Blue are both still here."</p><p>Keith's voice tightens, "Are any escape pods missing?"</p><p>A solemn look falls on Hunk's face.</p><p>"None whatsoever." </p><p>Keith abruptly stands up. </p><p>"This is all my fault. I have to find him." </p><p>Before Hunk can reply, Keith runs out of the room. </p><p>His feet pound against the metal floor as he sprints through the hallways.</p><p>"Lance!" He calls out a few times.</p><p>After clearing all but one level, Keith slows down to a jog.</p><p>"Lance!" He cries out, desperation clear in his voice.</p><p>He ducks his head into each room. Moving faster after each one. When he finally reaches the end of the hallway, a frustrated groan releases itself from his throat.</p><p> His eyes flicker back and forth, almost crazed. </p><p>Suddenly, his eyes zero in on a bundle visible from beyond the door on his left.</p><p> A blue light shines throughout the room, casting heavy blue shadows, making it almost possible to make out anything inside. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Keith quietly enters the room. </p><p> His eyes widen in shock. </p><p>A clear, 3-D hologram of Earth floats in the middle of the room, reflecting light into his eyes. </p><p>Lance is sat on his knees in front of it, head tucked into his chest. A blanket haphazardly wrapped around his shoulders, falling off some. </p><p>Tears are gathered in his eyes, glistening.</p><p>The sight has Keith falling apart for the Cuban boy all over again. </p><p>Wordlessly, Keith walks over, falling to his knees beside him. </p><p>Lance doesn't even glance over. </p><p>In a soft voice, he says, "It's okay to miss them. I miss Shiro. So much." </p><p>Lance says nothing, staring straight ahead at Earth. </p><p>Keith lets out a deep breath, before continuing. "When Shiro told me he wanted me to take over as leader if he was ever gone, I didn't take him seriously. I never thought he'd disappear. He was always there when I needed him, even when I was younger. Always. So, when he did, I was terrified. I still am. Sometimes, it feels like I'm replacing him. It's like I got thrust into this position, without any training or clue what to do. And I feel so helpless. I know I'm not a good leader. I've clearly proven it." </p><p>Lance turns his head towards me for the first time. </p><p>A small, soft smile settles onto his face. </p><p>In a rough voice, he says, "You're a great leader. Even though you didn't ask for this, you rolled with every punch and have helped guide us. Together, we grow stronger. It's just taken some time to figure that out, that's all."</p><p>Tears drip down Lance's cheeks. </p><p>Keith reaches a hand to wipe the tears away, stopping midway. </p><p>A conflicted look crosses his face. </p><p>Lance wipes his cheek with the back of his hand, smearing it. </p><p>Keith's hand falls.</p><p> He looks down at it, examining his calloused palms. </p><p>Suddenly, a tanned hand places itself on top of his.</p><p>Keith looks up, eyes widening. </p><p>Lance looks up, hesitantly. His eyes are still watery and a crystal blue. His lips curve downward into a frown.</p><p>He says, thickly, "I'm sorry, Keith. I knew how much pressure you were under and I kept pushing. I didn't look out for you. I didn't take care of my own boyfriend."</p><p>Keith winces slightly at the word "boyfriend"</p><p>Lance bites his lip, before letting out a hollow chuckle.</p><p>"You were right, Keith. Always were. I am selfish and only think about myself. I never thought about what you wanted or the position that you were put in. I don't know why you ever fell in love with me, either."</p><p>Keith leans forward, wrapping his arms around Lance, tightly.</p><p>Keith breathes against Lance's neck, whispering softly, "I fell in love with you because you're Lance. Loverboy Lance. Sharpshooter."</p><p>Lance lets out a wet chuckle, muffled by Keith's shirt.</p><p>Keith takes a deep, shuddery breath.</p><p>"I'm so, so sorry for what I said. None of it is true, Lance. None of it. You have to know that. Believe me when I say, you are the most selfless man I know. You constantly put yourself in danger to protect others and are always willing to help out. I've seen the way you assist Pidge with her experiments and help Hunk with his cooking. You take time out of your day to help Coran with chores and you spend time with Allura, doing whatever activities make her happy. And you always try to carve out some time to spend with me.  When I said all that, I was just so mad. Blinded by rage. I don't remember saying half of what I did, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I did say it. So, Lance, I'm so sorry. It's okay if you don't forgive me. I'm willing to work on us. Whatever "us" is now."</p><p>Tears dampen Keith's shirt.</p><p> Eventually, Lance pulls back enough to look up at him.</p><p> Through teary eyes, he says, "Can you forgive me? I said all those horrible things about your father. I had no right to."</p><p>A small smile crosses Keith's face.</p><p>"You know my past. And you were absolutely right, I don't know how a relationship works, because I've never had one before. But I want one. I want one with you. I'm willing to do whatever I can to fix things, so that I can have whatever kind of relationship with you that you want. Romantic, platonic, anything."</p><p>Lance leans forward, whispering into Keith's ear, "Romantic sounds right," before pressing his lips gently to Keith's. </p><p>Keith sighs into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Lance's familiar form. </p><p>It feels like home.</p>
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